Subordination examples

Example 1

Idea 1: Single daily administration of XM 730 decreased both systolic and diastolic blood pressures.
Idea 2: The decrease was stable and sustained for 24 h.

Because hypertension patients are often on medication for extended periods, researchers have sought agents which require only single daily administration. So does the sentence reflect the importance of this idea?

Single daily administration of XM 730 produced a stable, 24-h decrease in both systolic and diastolic blood pressures.

No - the importance of the stable and sustained (24 h) effect of the drug is not reflected in the grammar. We should indicate this importance by placing it in a clause.

Single daily administration of XM 230 produced a decrease in both systolic and diastolic blood pressures which was stably sustained for 24 h.

Or even a sentence of its own…
Single daily administration of XM 230 produced a stable decrease in both systolic and diastolic blood pressures. This decrease was stably sustained for 24 h.

・(Model 1: sentence > clause > phrase)

Example 2

From the Results section of a paper:

"^AWB-CAL-1 directly recognized ß2-GPI adsorbed onto a gamma-irradiated polystyrene surface in the absence of aCL. ^BTo avoid contamination by murine ß2-GPI, the WB-CAL-1 was purified as described in Materials and Methods."

Because B merely repeats procedural information from the Materials and Methods, the idea in the sentence A is probably more important. Yet, by placing B in its own sentence, the writer gives it equal (but undeserved) importance as A.

Let’s subordinate B to A by placing it in a relative clause:

"^AWB-CAL-1, ^Bpurified as described in Materials and Methods to avoid contamination by murine ß2-GPI, directly recognized ß2-GPI adsorbed onto a gamma-irradiated polystyrene surface in the absence of aCL."

・(Model 1: sentence > clause)

Example 3

This is an example of insufficient subordination:

"^ARed blood cells shrink in solutions with an osmotic pressure greater than that of normal blood. ^BThey share this characteristic with other cells. ^CIn solutions with a lower osmotic pressure they swell. ^DThey become spherical rather than disc-shaped. ^EEventually, their hemoglobin is lost. ^FThis process is known as lysis."

The paragraph contains two theme ideas - what the cells do in high osmotic pressure solutions (A), and what they do in low osmotic pressure solutions (C). The ideas B, D, E, and F merely add to their respective themes. Logically, B is subordinate to A, and D and E are subordinate to C. Let’s combine these additive ideas to the theme ideas.

"^ARed blood cells, ^Blike other cells, shrink in solutions with an osmotic pressure greater than that of normal blood. ^CIn solutions with a lower osmotic pressure they swell, ^Dbecoming spherical rather than disc-shaped ^Eand eventually losing their hemoglobin. ^FThis process is known as lysis."

・(B follows Model 1: sentence > phrase)

・(D and E follow Model 1: sentence > clause and Model 5: indicating coordinate relationship with parallel expression)