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パラグラフの種類 - 比較と対照を効果的に使う:
 

XY 333 did not induce mutagenicity in any of the strains of S. typhimurium tested either with or without metabolic activation. A 2-aminoanthracene markedly increased the number of mutant colonies with metabolic activation but B did not induce mutagenicity in these strains without metabolic activation.

ハイライト部分の校正:

元の原稿  - 計90ワード

AHaloperidol (0.1-0.3 mg/kg ip) increased the appearance of the delta wave in the cortex and caused a reduction in the ketamine-induced increase in the alpha wave in the hippocampus in the ketamine-treated rats.並列構造を使えば、1つのセンテンス内で複数の内容を述べることができる。 BWith sulpiride (100 mg/kg ip), the appearance of the delta wave in the cerebral cortex decreased and the ketamine-induced increase in the alpha wave in the hippocampus in the ketamine-treated rats also decreased. CNemonapride (0.1-0.3 mg/kg ip) increased the delta wave and decreased the ketamine-induced increase in the alpha wave in the hippocampus in the ketamine-treated rats.


より簡潔に  - 計87ワード

The dopamine antagonists haloperidol, nemonapride and sulpiride had various effects on the ketamine-induced changes in the spontaneous EEG in rats. 要点(メインポイント)はセンテンスの冒頭にもってくるほうが、読み手が1文の内容を把握しやすくなる。 AHaloperidol (0.1-0.3 mg/kg ip) increased the appearance of the delta wave in the cortex and decreased that of the alpha wave in the hippocampus. BSulpiride (100 mg/kg ip) decreased the appearance of the delta wave in the cortex and decreased that of the alpha wave in the hippocampus. CNemonapride (0.1-0.3 mg/kg ip) increased the delta wave and decreased that of the alpha wave component in the hippocampus.


対照を明確にしてさらに簡潔に- 計82ワード

The dopamine antagonists haloperidol, nemonapride and sulpiride had various effects on the ketamine-induced changes in the spontaneous EEG in rats.さまざまな見解は、読者が苦労せずに理解できるよう、基本的なセンテンス・フォームで明示すべき。   AHaloperidol (0.1-0.3 mg/kg ip) and Cnemonapride (0.1-0.3 mg/kg ip) both increased the appearance of the delta wave in the cortex and decreased that of the alpha wave in the hippocampus. In contrast, Bsulpiride (100 mg/kg ip) decreased both the appearance of the delta wave in the  cortex and that of the alpha wave in the hippocampus.センテンスの中で内容的な重要度の低い部分は文章にせず、数語に凝縮してしまうか、思い切って削除する。